What unique teachings do women who have been mothers harbor? We explain it to you.
Mothers are, along with our fathers, the most important figures in our life . They are the people who gave us life and raised us when we couldn’t even feed ourselves.
Thanks to mothers we have grown and developed. That is why this post is dedicated to them.
The mother-child relationship: unconditional love
It is that the task of being a mother can be exhausting. It is a 24 hour job in which, especially in the early years, it consumes all the time a mother can own. Mothers spend the early stages of their children’s lives with them, and the attachment that is created at the beginning of this relationship lasts forever.
But what is this about attachment? Well, nothing more than the emotional and affective ties or bonds that are created in interpersonal relationships. And mothers, of course, are the main protagonists of this beautiful relationship.
Attachment Theory: What is it?
Attachment theory is a theory made popular by John Bowlby, as he thought that attachment begins in childhood and continues throughout life, and affirmed that there are innate behavior control systems that are necessary for survival and procreation of human beings. Mothers, obviously, are the main protagonists for a child to develop what is considered the healthiest form of attachment: “secure attachment.”
If you have been a mother, you may have already realized that from a very young age children have an innate behavior that leads them to want to explore new things, they are like mini-explorers. Now, when they think they are in danger, they quickly run into your arms for protection.
Mothers are always there and the little ones know it. Just as you have known with yours. As you can see, without mothers we would be lost in this world, because it depends on them that we do not develop behaviors that damage our emotional health in the future.
The importance of the maternal role
Already from birth the mother is there, and her child becomes familiar with her voice, with her presence. The mother becomes responsible for the maternal role in the early stages of life, that is, the desire to provide physical and emotional nourishment to infants. But at an early age, the mother’s role not only refers to covering physical needs such as food, but is responsible for providing benign or positive affective stimuli. Studies show that children who are devoid of these affective stimuli often die from a condition called hospitalism.
Positive affective stimuli are those innate stimuli that are born from the desire to love that new creature, for example, the sweet and soft tone of voice, the smiles, caresses and hugs and the look.
- You can read more about this in the article: ” The gaze of a mother and the maternal role:” I am looked at, therefore I exist “
Mothers are for the good and for the bad
Now, the development of a child lasts a lifetime, but until adolescence the maternal figure is of the utmost importance for descendants. The mother will be in charge of educating a child (along with other educational agents of course), for example, in values. However, it can also be a bad influence on your child if he does not do things right.
Some mothers, voluntarily or involuntarily, engage in various toxic behaviors that, in the long run, can harm the emotional health of their offspring. Toxic mothers can carry out some harmful behaviors, such as the ones shown below:
- They are fixated on gender roles and adopt a submissive attitude towards men
- They are very conservative
- They have a controlling personality
- They do not trust the attitude of their children
- They have a passive-aggressive attitude
- Are indifferent or overly permissive
- They are not very affectionate
- They are too critical
- They project their failures in life onto their children
- They are not very communicative
- They don’t teach them healthy habits
You can delve into these negative behaviors of mothers in our post: ” Toxic mothers: these 12 characteristics make them unbearable “
What every mother should know
Fortunately, the vast majority of mothers feel that unconditional love for their children that I had previously spoken about.
If you are going to be a mother for the first time, you will be interested in knowing the 25 points shown below, because this is a great experience, but sometimes it can be complicated and exhausting:
- You will develop the super-skill or the seventh sense of getting up in the middle of the night.
- You will become a researcher because you will be interested in knowing everything about your child: what to eat, what to do, etc. Surely this is what brought you to this article …
- You will try to remember what you did when you had free time.
- You will become a great critic… with yourself.
- You will worry about what you and your children eat.
- You will sacrifice for him or her.
- You will discover a new form of love: maternal love.
- You will be at the limit of your emotional capacity.
- You will learn to appreciate what it is like to sleep.
- And you will learn to sleep in the hours that your child sleeps.
- You will develop eyes behind your head.
- You will realize that you did not know anything about life.
- When your first child is born … you may suffer from postpartum depression.
- You will ask your parents (your grandparents) for help.
- You will think that silence is suspicious.
- You will learn to cure pupae with kisses.
- You will become an expert diapers.
- You will be an expert in the sport of saving your child from falls.
- You will realize that each child is different (only when you have your second child).
- You will learn a new language. For example, “aga”, for water.
- You will know what stress really is.
- And, although it will cost you, you will learn to let your father do things his way because you will stress less.
- You will enjoy every moment that you can use both hands.
- You will get used to living with things that used to disgust you: spit, vomit, excrement …
- You will become a child again. For example, when you have to play with your child or watch television with him or her.