Christmas Is Coming: Are We Forced To Be Happy?

Tips for living Christmas in an emotionally healthy way, without giving in to social pressure.

Are we bound to be happy at Christmas?

Every year comes earlier. Lights, ads for perfumes, toys, people who are very happy, etc. But … are we really obliged to enter this current of good consumerism if deep down we don’t feel good? The answer is no.

Nor is it a matter of becoming the Grinch, that character who hated Christmas with all his soul … but we have the right to listen and act accordingly.

There are many reasons why we can feel rejecting these parties. Due to the absence of a loved one, because you have to work, because you are far from home, because you simply do not agree with what they want to sell us as “Christmas”. None of this is a serious problem in itself, but combined with social pressure, it can plunge us into a mild depressive state.

Tips for spending an emotionally healthy Christmas

It is clear that the simple fact that Christmas exists does not mean that we have to live these dates feeling on the cusp of happiness. At the same time, it is also evident that we cannot feed our frustrations because we are too far from the ideal “Christmas spirit”. In balance is virtue, as always; The only thing that happens is that on this holiday there are many traditional and cultural elements with a strong emotional charge: family dinners, toasts to those who are not there, gifts …

Next we will see some tips to spend Christmas in the best way:

1. Do not feel the obligation to participate in the events

If there are things that you really don’t fancy at all but there is a certain social pressure that pushes you to do it, cut your losses: nullify the effects of that social pressure by communicating to others, in an assertive way, why you do not want to participate in certain things. If you do it in a way that makes your point of view clear, it is very likely that they will understand it, especially if during the rest of the year you tend to be a person who enjoys participating in comparable social events.

Of course, in the case of family events, keep in mind that these have a special symbolic load and that in the most important ones, your absence can be interpreted as a sign that something is not right. The degree to which you achieve “independence” from these traditions depends on your communication skills.

2. Make yourself a gift

It never hurts to take advantage of Christmas days to make a small gift, since at this time there are many novelties that go on sale. It is a way to turn one of the ideas of Christmas; Instead of going into the logic of the gift competition, you invest in a reminder that your well-being and your self-esteem count too.

As long as you don’t fall into a spiral of consumerism and keep your attention fixed on the goal of indulging yourself, everything will be fine. The more personal and meaningful a self-gift is to you, the easier it will be to put aside the obsession to buy for the simple fact of buying

3. Share your time with yours, if you wish, as you please, and you can

Another useful tip to make Christmas your own and prevent it from dominating you is to create your own calendar of events and encourage your loved ones to participate in them. For example, if at Christmas you usually have more work than normal, propose a dinner with the closest friends in one of the following weeks as an alternative to staying on a Friday where you will be until dinner time filling out documents.

4. Have a nice memory for those who are missing

Take the opportunity to remember loved ones who are gone, since you will probably have memories of Christmas past with them. But if that makes you feel bad, don’t force yourself to do it ; everything must be given in its own time.

5. Don’t be grumpy

If you waste too much energy expressing your frustration with the concept of Christmas, it will only make it more important in your life, although not in the way you would like it to. Each complaint will be reinforcing the little ritual of making your dislike for these dates clear, which in turn will keep you in that discomfort.

Also, if your problem is that it frustrates you to see that others are not against Christmas, this type of complaint will hardly convince someone who has enjoyed this holiday all their life: arguments hardly overcome emotions.

  • Maybe you’re interested: ” Emotional management: 10 keys to control your emotions “

6. And remember, January 7 is just around the corner

Christmas is still a set of days; If we broaden the focus, we will see that technically they are one more time of the year, like any other. It is perfectly possible that at the end of Twelfth Night we have gone through these festivities without hardly having noticed if we have chosen not to get involved in tradition. In any case, it is important not to lose sight of the brevity of Christmas and its symbolic and cultural character.

Do you need professional help?

If you have a problem with these dates because they make you feel bad, you should know that psychologists are trained to deal with most emotional problems that arise especially these days. If you are interested in knowing how we work at Awakenings Psychologists, click here to see the contact details of our psychotherapy center in Madrid. We are also in Móstoles, Getafe and Leganés.

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