Do You Really Know What Self-esteem Is?

Self-esteem problems can be expressed in many different ways.

Do you really know what self-esteem is?

One of the most frequent issues that we come across in consultation is self-esteem. Many times we believe that we have mastered this subject but it is not like that, since self-esteem is an aspect as complex as it is fundamental for the care of our mental health.

How is self-esteem configured?

The basis of all self-esteem comes from our beliefs and values. Therefore, we would have to focus more on what we want for ourselves and not on what we should be, since on many occasions we try to please the other by acting or behaving like a person we are not, losing part of our essence, our authenticity.

This point seems fundamental to us, since when we try to be something that we are not, we end up paying a very high cost for our mental health, since it is to be constantly acting or wanting to be in a way that we are not, we can get to abandon ourselves.

Self-esteem is built from our early childhood. Social relationships, our upbringing, our learning matrices influence its construction. This is modified and molded, according to the environment, the links we establish with others, so it will be dynamic and changing throughout the different stages of our lives. Consequently, my experiences are also changing.

Many times, people find it difficult to identify this phenomenon, and they come to consultation for symptoms such as anxiety or depression, which are masking negative self-esteem without the sufferer noticing.

It is important to take care of how we feel, since it is what will accompany us during the course of our lives both with ourselves and with our relationships with others.

How to detect these problems?

Some of the symptoms that can help us to realize low self-esteem are thoughts like: “I am not confident in myself”, “I do not like myself”, “I do not relate to others as I would like” guilty “,” I envy the lives of others “,” I am always aware of my weaknesses “, etc.

Self-confidence is essential to contribute to our healthy development in all areas : work, personal and family life, in my introspection … If I don’t strengthen my own belief, who will?

Self-esteem as a necessity

When we talk about self-esteem we are based on Maslow’s Pyramid; This is a theory of motivation that explains what drives human behavior. It consists of 5 levels arranged hierarchically according to the needs we go through.

1. Biological Needs

They are vital necessities for survival, the fundamental biological processes (breathing, eating, sleeping, drinking water, feeding). These are the most basic of the hierarchy, when these are satisfied we go to a second level.

2. Security Needs

We all need to have some sense of security in our lives. When we speak of security we refer to personal security, physical security, employment and resource security, family security, health security. We focus on feeling protected in various aspects of our life. This level has to do with the expectations we have.

3. Membership Needs

It’s about social needs. Here are our emotional ties, our social relationships. At this point, empathy plays a fundamental role.

This need is continually presented in our daily life when the desire to marry, to have children, a job that we like, social acceptance, etc. appears.

4. Recognition Needs

It has to do with how we value ourselves and how we value others. The confidence and security we have, our own acceptance.

At this point is when we talk about self-esteem, feeling good about ourselves, having a good self-concept, recognizing and valuing our achievements. When these needs are not met, we feel inferior and worthless, and poor self-esteem arises.

5. Self-actualization needs

This is the highest level of needs and the most different, since here is our spiritual and moral development, our life purpose, our potential to achieve a fuller life and reach happiness. It is the most unique and subjective need of each person; To get there you have to feel good about yourself, value yourself and, most importantly, accept yourself.

The pillars of self-esteem

To deepen this issue of self-esteem, we recommend starting to know ourselves better, take a moment and think about how we feel. Are we happy with ourselves? Do we do what we like? Are we satisfied with the life we ​​build? Would we change something? The only thing that results from our wrong beliefs is a lack of confidence and a negative self-concept.

There are three fundamental pillars to work on self-esteem : at a cognitive level “what I think”, at an affective level “what I feel”, at a behavioral level “what I do”. These three planes are essential to create good self-esteem, since it is important that they are in harmony.

How to enhance it?

We recommend several ways to increase your self-esteem:

On the one hand, do not stay in the past, since it cannot continue to condemn you in the present and even less in the future.

On the other hand, believe in yourself, in your capacity, in what you are, in what you think. You are the protagonist of your life and you write the script and decide what the next scenes of your life are like, and who will accompany you.

Do not mistreat yourself, do not harass yourself, if you do not like something change it, but do not remain in this punish yourself over and over again.

Finally, celebrate your achievements, no one but you knows what it took you to reach your goals and objectives in life. Give yourself the value you deserve over and over again by thinking positive, since you are worth a lot.

Learn to love yourself


We are here to help you deepen more about your self-esteem. For any questions, do not hesitate to contact PSiCOBAi.

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