How to differentiate between feedback given in coaching and negative criticism?
From a coaching perspective, it is feedback and not critical if we follow certain guidelines when giving an opinion about another person. It is feedback if the exchange is direct and interpersonal and is done with the intention of helping to learn and grow. Therefore, giving an opinion on how we perceive a person’s performance and impact to improve their development is not criticizing, it is giving feedback.
In addition, to go from criticism to feedback, the comment must be argued, clear, constructive, timely and must look to the future. For example, it would not be feedback to say: “Let’s see if your team gets the hang of it, that work doesn’t come out like that.” And it would be feedback to say: “Let’s talk about what may be happening in your team …”.
Feedback, development tool
Feedback helps drive strengths and identify and improve our weaknesses, allowing development. When it’s positive, it has a powerful impact on engagement. “The opinion of another about how we act pushes us, since it has a positive impact on our future actions, always helping us to improve”, explain the EEC coaches who teach this tool in their coaching training and in their company interventions.
Moreover, in the opinion of the experts, negative feedback does not exist. “Feedback is always positive because it always pushes forward.”
In this sense, sharing what we think about the performance of others is a responsibility. From EEC, they understand “the action of giving feedback as an obligation, since it is the only way we have to develop ourselves and give something to the other person that helps them grow”.
It is bi-directional
The feedback phenomenon goes in two directions. Do not lose sight that it is in your power to know how your own performance is perceived and the impact that you are generating. If you don’t do this, you will be the last person to know about your mistakes. “Feedback is asking others to lend us their eyes to see things that we are not seeing,” they clarify in EEC.
- Maybe you’re interested: ” Personal Development: 5 reasons for self-reflection “
4 keys not to screw up
The experts at the European School of Coaching define four aspects to be enchanted to give and receive feedback properly. The key is to understand the feedback as a gift.
1. Feedback is always an opinion about a fact
To give and receive feedback it is necessary to differentiate opinions and facts.
2. No need to keep valuable information
If we do not give feedback, we are left with something that can be used by another person to grow.
3. It is necessary to ask for feedback
If we don’t ask for feedback, we miss out on something that can help us grow.
4. You must appreciate the opportunity to obtain that information
Feedback is a privilege at our disposal as a tool to grow and make others grow.
Haters gonna hate
Finally, remember that criticism serves to criticize and feedback serves to improve. It is not the same to say you are doing something stupid as to say, “You are stupid.
“Feedback is not what the other person is, not even what the other person does, it is what happens to me with what the other person has done” ·, conclude the trainers of the European School of Coaching. “Talking about feedback is putting the person first and is talking about vulnerability, connection, cooperation and the need not to insist on being right.”