Several guidelines to follow to qualitatively improve the way in which we relate to others.
People are social animals, which means that we are beings that need interaction with others, to such an extent that throughout our evolution as a species we have developed a system of societies that allows us to enjoy the feeling that we belong to something much greater than us.
From this point of view, it would be logical to think that all people manage to develop the same socialization skills, but this is not the reality at all. Due to different influencing factors some people are unable to fully develop these skills, so throughout this article we will see some tips on how to better socialize.
What does it mean to socialize?
The act of socializing, also known as socialization, is a process that practically all people go through and that consists of the cognitive assimilation of all the elements, principles and sociocultural foundations of their environment to then integrate them into the structure of his personality, all of them mediated by the influence of his life experiences and social agents.
This process is carried out thanks to the action of social agents, which are made up of the family environment, the school, peers and even the media and institutions.
Within all these agents, the family is considered an essential piece in the socialization process since it is our first contact with people other than ourselves and serves as a guide for our first contacts with the outside world.
Second is the school, within this context we learn the guidelines to follow for interaction with our peers, as well as a first deal with authority figures other than parents or guardians.
Why are not all people equally capable?
There are great differences between people when it comes to developing the skills that allow us to socialize with others . While some show great capacities to relate and generate friends in a very simple way, others take a great effort.
These difficulties in meeting people and making friends can cause great feelings of frustration and anguish, since the person feels the need and wants to interact with others but their ignorance or lack of skills make it impossible.
The skills that allow us to interact with others and establish positive friendship and personal bonds are known as social skills. This concept encompasses all those behaviors and behaviors carried out by the person within an interpersonal context.
It basically consists of the expression of emotions, feelings, desires and opinions in an effective and appropriate way according to the situation in which the person is. In addition, it is also characterized by the ability to respect others and to solve problems effectively while minimizing the consequences and future complications.
The reason why some people do not have these skills is that they have not had the opportunity to learn and put them into practice, either because of inadequate or not very direct learning models, or because of the interference of negative thoughts or insecurities due to negative life experiences .
7 tips to better socialize
However, like the rest of the skills, these are capable of being learned and practiced. Although this can get a bit more complicated over time, it is never too late to change or improve your socialization habits and patterns.
Next we will review a series of suggestions that will not facilitate interacting with other people and will help us feel more comfortable.
1. Start small
Due to the stress that starting a conversation or contact with another person can generate, it is worth starting small. Choose little crowded places that allow you to have a quiet conversation with one or two people.
Choosing everyday contexts in which people speak in a natural or habitual way, such as the queues in supermarkets and initiating a small casual interaction will allow us to practice and lose the fear of starting conversations.
In the same way, it is advisable to start with small comments, which can lead to a conversation but without resulting elaborate or excessively deep expressions or sentences. Circumstantial comments that show points in common with the other person are usually very effective when it comes to creating a bond.
Of course, we are not referring to forced or constant smiles, since these can convey a feeling of strangeness or mistrust to other people. Smiling when someone approaches, when funny comments are made and maintaining a relaxed and carefree facial gesture will help us feel close to people and that they feel comfortable with us.
3. Maintain adequate eye contact
Looking at people while they are talking is a sign that you are listening and makes it easy to bond with others. Otherwise it will seem that we are not interested in the least what counts and this can create a barrier between the two.
In the same way, if we are the ones who speak, it is also advisable to maintain eye contact with our interlocutor or interlocutors, since this transmits security and also facilitates the creation of personal ties or friendship.
Socializing with involves only talking to other people, but also attending to them and actively listening to what they are not saying. Active listening will allow us to collect enough information from the other person to be able to ask the appropriate questions and comments, which will allow us to continue the conversation effectively and convey interest in the other.
Observing people around us or with whom we have a conversation can give us a lot of information about them, such as how they feel when talking about a topic. This information will allow us to connect with them and facilitate the beginning and progress of the conversation.
6. Stay informed
Knowing what is happening around us, what the latest news and events are, will provide us with a wide range of topics with which to start conversations and be able to intervene effectively in the debates that may appear throughout social gatherings.
Maybe you’re interested: ” 15 interesting and fun conversation topics “
7. Don’t judge
If when you arrive at a meeting space, the first thing you do is make value judgments, you will create a barrier between you and the rest of the people, since you will eliminate the possibility of knowing them and knowing how they really are, especially if these judgments are negative.
In the same way, making negative criticisms or judgments of people you have just met usually transmits a very bad image so you will only get these people away from you.