Starting new friends can be difficult if you experience social stagnation. What to do?
Many of the things that we enjoy in our day to day exist thanks to our ability to connect emotionally with other people. The human being is highly social, and that is why we tend to establish links between us constantly, whether formal or informal.
However, not only the quantity matters; the quality of these social ties must also be taken into account. Specifically, the possibility of having friends is one of the aspects that produces the most happiness and satisfaction. But this is not something that is easy for everyone. So in this article we will go over some tips on how to make friends more easily.
How to make friends: 7 tips
These guidelines to follow are not essential to find new friends, although having them as a reference in our day to day will help to achieve that goal. The fundamental thing is to be clear that each case is unique, and it is necessary to know how to adapt these steps to follow to the context in which one lives.
1. Don’t listen to stereotypes
There are people whose main difficulty in making friends is that they feel rejection at the idea of being seen with the type of people for whom they feel affinity. It is easy, for example, that if you have grown up in a relatively homogeneous social environment, certain types of friendships are strange or even critical, but submitting to these unwritten rules is almost always worse than breaking those rules based on misunderstanding and stigmata.
Ultimately, what is achieved by going beyond this peer pressure is having access to a much greater variety of possible friends than was previously, and although this can have somewhat negative consequences in some personal relationships of the group which previously occupied most of our lives, the problem was already there long before, although not manifestly. If someone does not accept us for not being in their schemes to show us as we are, their friendship was very relative.
2. If you can use the Internet, do it
The use of the Internet is highly stigmatized, since there are people who mistakenly believe that the friendships and relationships that begin in this virtual environment are less sincere and “natural” than those that were formed decades ago, when computers did not exist or they had much more limited versatility.
But this does not make any sense: the network of networks is a perfect place to break with many of the limitations of the material environment in which we have grown up or in which we are living. For example, if we have developed a hobby that no one in our environment shares with us, it makes no sense to refuse to use the Internet to find more people with these tastes.
In fact, it is very easy to access forums and web pages specialized in very specific topics, so that we are guaranteed to be able to find potential friends with interests similar to those we have.
3. Cultivate your cultural baggage
There is nothing to have a good conversation like knowing a little about everything, having a general culture. Even if what we know about a topic is very little, that can help to develop an interesting dialogue in which doubts are resolved, for example, about the country from which our interlocutor or interlocutor comes.
Maybe you’re interested: ” 15 interesting and fun conversation topics “
4. Take care of your non-verbal language
In this regard, the fundamental thing you should know is just that it is good to follow two principles: look into the eyes and not have a non-verbal language associated with tension and defensiveness. In addition, externalizing your positive emotions always helps, since smiles are contagious (as long as they are not forced). One of the most useful tips to know how to make friends, since its effects are noticeable from the first moment.
5. Begins to lose the fear of starting a conversation
This step is important to overcome many of the limitations associated with shyness and fear of making a bad impression. It is complex and requires weeks of work, but it can be learned.
The main idea behind this process is that the content matters much less than the forms, and that your attitude can make a seemingly absurd topic of conversation play a lot and not seem strange or out of context if it conveys confidence in one same.
Avoid memorizing very detailed behavior patterns; It is preferable to take into account very basic and intuitive ideas about what to do, and do it without thinking too much. In this way, your attention will be focused on the interaction in real time with the other person, and not on the “script” that you have prepared and which, by definition, is something that is outside the real dialogue.
7. It is not necessary to form large groups
Having friends does not mean being part of a large group of friends. This is something that is difficult to understand especially when you are very young, because at certain ages the usual tendency is to socialize in “networks-2 of many people who know each other. But having friends who don’t know each other is perfectly fine, so it’s not worth worrying about whether or not they like each other. Trying to put them together in a very forceful way is usually counterproductive, especially if you have known these people for a relatively short time.