In these situations it is easy to start to feel bad when there is no reason to do so. What to do?
It is clear that the evolution of new technologies is making our way of relating to each other change … for better or for worse.
Yes, it is true that now it is possible to talk to many, many people every day regardless of where they are, and it is also true that the existence of the Internet has allowed us to make friends with people whose country of residence we do not even have to reach ever step on. The possibilities of bridging are much greater thanks to chats and video calling services, but this has a disadvantage. It is also much easier to cut off contact with someone immediately and permanently, in a matter of seconds or a few minutes.
Ghosting is precisely what happens when someone decides to stop talking and interacting in general with someone without giving any explanation, simply not answering the gold or even preventing it from contacting someone who ignores it, blocking it on social networks, etc. In this article we will see several tips on how to react to ghosting and not make it do us more damage than necessary.
What to do if I get ghosted?
To learn how to manage the emotions that arise when ghosting, follow these tips. Keep in mind, however, that each case of ghosting is different, and many times the type of relationship with the person who has stopped talking to us matters more than the fact that they are ignoring us.
1. Assess whether there was a significant affective bond
It’s good to keep in mind that, just as in the age of social media it’s easy to ghost, it’s also easy to mistake for friendship what never was. Knowing how to distinguish between friends and acquaintances who orbit around the social circles through which we move is not always an easy task.
So first ask yourself if there is any reason why it makes sense for you to feel bad that a certain person ghosted you. Perhaps, simply, she did not see reasons to have regular conversations with you not so much because of who you are, but because she knows you little or the circumstances in which you have known each other were not enough to develop a friendship.
Although it is clear that ghosting is an inconsiderate act and that can hardly be excused, it is also true that we do not necessarily have to give much importance to each and every one of the cases in which it occurs. Sometimes, just take notes and stop worrying about what that person says or does.
2. Can you have personal problems?
If the person who has stopped communicating with you is significant to you, the next thing you have to do is try to find out if he is deliberately ignoring you or if there are certain personal or family problems that cause so much discomfort or demand so much from him that in general has suspended his social life.
In some extreme cases this is possible, although it is not very common. Someone who, due to personal circumstances, cannot dedicate time to cultivating the relationships that matter to him tends to warn that he will spend a while without giving too many signs of life, out of consideration and respect. But under certain circumstances, such as experiencing severe depressive symptoms, even writing a message can be too exhausting.
In any case, as ghosting has been imposed, our ability to know what is happening is very limited, so eventually, unless we have important clues that indicate otherwise, we must terminate the search and accept the conclusion simpler and more likely: that the other person does not want to communicate with us for some reason.
3. You don’t let guilt show up
By definition, ghosting is surrounded by ambiguity, so it is not clear why contact with someone has been cut, which in turn indicates that there are no clear reasons and therefore you are not to blame for that.
It does not hurt to first ask if there is something we have done that could have hurt the other, but if we do not see a clear reason why this person may have adopted an antagonistic attitude, it is best to conclude that there are no reasons why those who feel guilty.
4. Be clear that the important thing is you
It is true that everyone has the right to cut with a personal relationship at any time , but it is also true that the person who has cut the contact has right not to feel bad about it or assume it is to blame for that to unless there are clear reasons to assume otherwise. But they must be very clear, because faced with uncertainty we are prone to pessimism.
The moment you know that someone has deliberately ghosted you, even if they have done so because they have stopped caring about what you might feel (that is, they have deliberately but not actively cut contact with you, but passively), you must be clear that when it comes to this issue, what is important is you, how you feel.
Faced with ghosting, you can assume that that person has disappeared for you, and if the other person wants to regain contact, it is legitimate to refuse it, so you should not worry about what the other may think if you stop trying to talk to him .
5. Don’t feed the anger
Getting angry with this situation will only make obsessive thoughts appear around this topic. Do not let that happen. You just don’t have to waste more time worrying about it.