Several tips to gradually strengthen your level of self-confidence.
Many of the good things we can do in our lives depend not so much on our innate abilities, but on the way we believe in our ability to face challenges.
In other words, virtually no one succeeds in their most important projects simply because they have a talent. It is more important to have a mixture of luck (which, we are not going to deny, influences) and self-confidence, a psychological disposition that allows us to go from wishes to actions, when we get down to work. In fact, without this factor we won’t even consider too many projects to begin with.
Now, the level of self-confidence is not fixed, but it comes and goes depending on our experiences and the way we interpret them. So … How to regain self-confidence if we stop enjoying its beneficial influence due to self-esteem problems? Let’s see several recommendations to favor this change of mental frame that allows us to believe in ourselves again.
What is self-confidence?
One of the best-known phenomena in the world of psychology is the so-called self-fulfilling prophecy effect. Basically, it is a concept that serves to indicate the way in which the simple fact of predicting that something will happen often increases the chances that the predicted event will occur, or at least a very similar one.
Let’s think, for example, about what can happen to us if, going down the street, we walk past many people sitting on a low wall and for some reason we think that they will find our way of walking strange; surely, we will try to take “conscious” control of our legs and walking will be somewhat cumbersome, strange to look at.
Well, with self-confidence something very similar happens. The fact of trusting in our possibilities can be harmful if we have a very inflated self-esteem that leads us to overestimate our virtues and abilities, but in most cases, it helps us to get closer to our goals and to progress in personal life and professional.
In this way, self-confidence is a phenomenon linked to self-esteem that predisposes us to take the first steps to carry out complicated or challenging tasks.
Unfortunately, there are many situations in life that are capable of filing our self-confidence. It does not have to be a sudden decline, it can be gradual, as it happens many times with aging. However, this tendency can be counteracted by adopting habits useful to regain self-confidence.
How to regain self-confidence
These are some tips that, once incorporated into your daily life in the form of habits, will significantly increase the chances that your self-confidence will be strong again. Of course, none of them is enough on its own to achieve this goal, so it is best that you change several of these and adapt them to your way of life and personal and professional context.
1. Create schedules
The first thing to do is to break with the passive attitude towards one’s own life of someone who has lost self-confidence. This will activate you so that, little by little, the idea of launching yourself to do things that you did not think you were capable of is less crazy.
So, start by setting simple guidelines to structure your day to day and maintain a regularity in the way you distribute activities week after week. It is good that you dedicate yourself exclusively to this first step for about a month. Once consolidated in your routine, it will be much easier for you to do the following.
In addition, although it may seem small, this first milestone is already a reason to see oneself with better eyes; After all, most people do not put this philosophy of discipline into practice, which brings them some problems that for now you will be avoiding from that moment on.
2. Get moderate exercise
In the same vein as getting going, regular exercise helps a lot. Not only will it make you feel better physically and it will allow you to avoid some of the risk of disease. Also, in a few months or even weeks, the evidence that you are being able to break your own records will appear revealed in the shape of your body.
3. Socialize as equals
Another aspect of life that helps to regain self-confidence is to stop seeing conversations as times when others test us, or when we can make a fool of ourselves. Think that you are not there to please, and that you are also perfectly capable of finding ways not only to show who you are, but to get to know your interlocutors and assess whether it is worth spending your time.
4. Learn to identify self-sabotaging thoughts
Rebuilding your self-confidence implies making an effort, exposing yourself even a little to situations in which we can feel vulnerable because there are always challenges to solve. This makes it very easy to cling to excuses for not moving forward.
To avoid this, take a small notepad with you and remember to pay attention to your thoughts when you focus your attention on those goals that await you. If any of them is an excuse to let it be, write it down and try to remember it so that it does not become a threat again due to exposure to temptation.
5. Make yourself a personal project
Think of a project that you can dedicate yourself to for months or years, plan it, and execute it by dedicating some time to it each week. It is important that progress is easy to measure and that if you do it well it is cumulative.
For example, learn a language in a self-taught way, start a small business parallel to your usual job, learn a form of art or craft that you can master and perfect, etc.
Are you looking for psychological assistance?
Having professional help is always a great help when it comes to boosting self-esteem and stopping having self-confidence problems. If you are interested in this option, you can count on our team of psychologists from the UPAD Psychology & Coaching center, located in Madrid (Calle Rey Francisco, nº 27). To see our contact details, click here.
- Judge, TA; Bono, JE (2001). “Relationship of core self-evaluations traits — self-esteem, generalized self-efficacy, locus of control, and emotional stability — with job satisfaction and job performance: A meta-analysis”. Journal of Applied Psychology. 86 (1): pp. 80 – 92.
- Miranda, C. (2005). “Professional self-esteem: a mediating competence for innovation in pedagogical practices” (PDF). Ibero-American Journal on Quality, Efficacy and Change in Education 3 (1).
- Olsen, JM; Breckler, SJ; Wiggins, EC (2008). Social Psychology Alive (First Canadian ed.). Toronto: Thomson Nelson.