An interesting investigation that specifies what things drive mothers crazy.
Relationships and marriages are not always a bed of roses, there are times when the situation gets complicated, because conflicts between members are frequent.
However, many times these problematic situations can even be beneficial, because if the situation is resolved in a mature way, mutual learning can make the couple grow and there is a greater degree of intimacy and rapport.
Relationships are not easy
And it is that coexistence is not easy. Each member of the couple has their values, their needs, their habits, their way of understanding life, and adjusting that to the way of thinking of the other member of the relationship is not always simple.
Each person is a world, each couple is a world and each family is a world. Idyllically, adults must set an example and must support each other in everything and contribute equally to family life: in the economic contribution, in the education of the children … But when one of the two members of the couple feels that they are giving more than the other, conflict may arise.
The daily life of a couple or marriage can be stressful
And living this situation daily muddies communication and hinders the relationship. The conflict can end up being the day-to-day of the relationship and stress can manifest itself. Many women complain of having to do household chores in addition to their own work, dedicating their entire lives to the family.
Therefore, it is not surprising that a survey carried out in the United States, in which more than 7,000 mothers have given their opinions, has concluded that husbands generate 10 times more stress than their own children. 46% of the participants stated that their partners caused highly stressful situations for them.
Husbands and added stress
Some women even claimed that their husbands added work to their daily lives, even giving them more work than their own children. As if that were not enough, some participants stated that while their children barely gave them headaches, the childish attitude of their husbands bothered them a lot.
Additionally, some complained about the fact that their partners did not help them with daily tasks, so they did not have free time. Obviously, these situations were stressful for them, which causes them a great perception of discomfort.
A matter of expectations
According to the researchers, these results may be due to irrational expectations. Many mothers know that their children will cause conflict situations, the fruit of age.
However, the same does not happen with husbands, as they expect them to be a support rather than a burden. “You can expect that a child does not understand certain things, but not that an adult behaves like that,” explains one participant. Another adds: “I am physically and mentally exhausted when my husband comes home. I feel like it’s another job to have to be aware of him ”. Do not forget that mother’s love can do anything.
And what do the husbands think?
Analyzing the data, we could think that parents are the main causes of the world’s ills. Therefore, the same researchers decided to know more about their opinion on the matter. To do this, they conducted an investigation with 1,500 parents, and half of them acknowledged having shared childcare with their partner. The strange thing was that of the 2,700 mothers interviewed, 75% said they were doing everything on their own. Many parents also confessed to feeling hurt because they believed they had a secondary role in the family. They also expressed that they would like to be recognized for their efforts from time to time, at least with words of appreciation.
This study reveals that there is a problem of communication and expectations in many homes. Some fathers believe that they are doing enough and that it is not recognized, while mothers think that it is not true.
Whose fault is it?
The data from this study aside, the reality is that being a parent is already stressful. In this situation, it is easy for sparks to jump in the relationship and the parents blame the other member of the couple. Being a parent can cause really difficult times.
And it is that if a relationship is already complicated on its own, if you add the work of raising a child on top, expenses increase, etc. tension can appear at any time. Fathers and mothers do not cease to be people and, therefore, they are imperfect. It is important that parents’ communication improves and that there is tolerance among them, because the first one to suffer the consequences of this type of situation is the child herself.
Parents, in addition, also come out badly of these conflictive situations. Several studies found that a stressful marriage, where there are constant conflicts, is detrimental to heart health as much as smoking and increases the chances of suffering from cardiovascular disease in men, as well as women, In addition, a recent survey of 300 Swedish women found that the risk of suffering a heart attack is multiplied by three when their marriage is conflictive.
Almost all parents want the best for their children. But raising a child is complicated, especially with the first offspring. Nobody is born an expert.
This is why a good parenting psychology text can be very helpful, because even with the best of intentions, you don’t always educate yourself correctly.