This type of intra-family conflict is very frequent when the fear of being isolated appears.
Jealousy between siblings is one of the main problems in some families with young children. And it is that although childhood is a time of discovery and illusion, it is also true that it is a phase in which the relative irrationality of minors can be combined with competitive moods and the need for acceptance and acceptance. attention, resulting in an explosive mixture.
The simple fact of ceasing to be the center of care from the moment a brother or sister is born, sometimes produces a frustration that is difficult to manage for a minor. However, sometimes it is not the order of birth that triggers this type of conflict between children, and the root of the problem may be a self-esteem damaged by other factors.
In any case, it is clear that it is necessary to recognize the symptoms of jealousy between siblings to intervene as soon as possible and bring peace to a relationship that should only be characterized by affection.
Symptoms or signs that there is jealousy between siblings
Every family is different, so to some extent, it is normal that there is variability in the way in which jealousy between siblings is expressed. However, there are certain behavioral dynamics that are very frequent when these intra-family conflicts appear. They are as follows.
1. Teasing at the slightest opportunity
Wherever there is jealousy between siblings, there is teasing, since this is a way of disguising an attack by passing it off as an act of expression of humor.
2. Direct assaults
These types of attacks, which consist of actions aimed at causing pain to the other, are more typical of children than adolescents, although they can occur in both age groups. Among the boys they are more frequent, and when the jealousy is very intense, it is not even necessary that there be an excuse to attack the other.
3. Indirect assaults: attempts to get your friends away
Indirect aggression is one in which the social circles that support a person are tried to move away from them, leaving them in a situation of relative isolation. This is very typical of brothers who are jealous, especially in the case of girls and adolescents, while boys are more prone to direct attacks.
4. Attempts to get parental attention
This symptom appears more clearly in minors who have not yet gone through puberty, while in adolescents this tends to occur less frequently and in a more subtle way, since at this stage young people have a relatively ideal model of the ego. self-sufficient and does not need the opinions of parents.
For example, what in childhood may consist of constantly wanting to show drawings and crafts made by the little one, in adolescence it happens to be singing in the dining room where everyone is pretending that it is only practicing, or starting to debate on topics that neither interest them nor those who know a minimum of information.
However, this sign is less obvious than the previous ones, and has to be analyzed in context to find out if it really appears because of jealousy.
Tips to prevent or fix the problem
Among the steps to follow to combat jealousy between siblings, the following stand out.
1. Spend time
Much of the jealousy appears due to the fear of being forgotten, left aside by the family. For this reason, it is important to clearly convey the message that the existence of brothers or sisters does not mean that their value diminishes, and since nothing speaks as much as acts, it is best to exercise this affection through daily shared moments.
2. If a baby brother or sister is to be born, plan the transition
In the cases in which a baby is going to be born, it is good to prevent problems by explaining that, due to the special needs of that person who will come into the world, he will have more people pending than those who have been growing for a long time. To help you in this task, it may be helpful to use photos or videos showing how the little one to whom we addressed our explanations was like a baby, so that you can see how they treated him.
3. Let him tell you how he feels
Not everything has to consist of giving messages one-sidedly. Allow him to express himself, to tell you his fears or possible reasons for discomfort. Support is noticeable both by sharing good times and by being there as support in bad times.
4. Give him a role in raising the brother or sister.
If the person you may be jealous of is younger or of a similar age, it is good to entrust them with the task of helping to raise them. In this way, another meaning is given to the care that the other receives, and it becomes part of a stimulating mission in which, in addition, the little one who was previously jealous shares roles with adults much more limited than these, and adapted to their physical and psychological characteristics).