These processes are usually very demanding on a psychological and emotional level.
Infertility, in all its variables, is an increasingly widespread problem, mainly due to the increasing age at which we consider becoming parents, although it can be due to multiple factors and, on many occasions, there is not even an explanation for why the longed-for son / daughter does not arrive.
Whatever the reason, what is evident is that it causes psychological stress. It is a situation that is beyond the control of people and that is not talked about too much, so they tend to be overwhelmed and with few tools to manage it.
The process towards assisted reproduction
The process usually begins when the couple decides to have a child and begins to discover that it costs them more time than expected, this generates a variable level of anxiety, which depends on the person, the time it is taking, if they are detected or not the causes of this delay, whether or not you know whether or not you can have children, whether there have been previous abortions, etc. That is, it depends on multiple factors, both personal and contextual.
On the other hand, the couple is usually in the position of starting an assisted reproduction process or not. The decision making itself is usually complex and if it is decided that it is, or even if it is done in this way by medical prescription, it is also necessary to be psychologically prepared and psychological support is recommended since it is not a simple process on an emotional level. . It is necessary to work, among other aspects, the expectations of the treatment (trying to achieve a balance between realism and positivity), tolerance to frustration, uncertainty, fear, anxiety, waiting management, etc. .
Managing stress and anxiety
Of course, if the result is not the desired one, more intensive support is required and work with the person either on the path of persistence and management of the stress and pain that this produces, or accompanying the partner that they decide to abandon the treatment in the feeling of guilt, failure, sadness etc that this decision can generate, but that it is a logical and very personal decision.
Decisions, as always in therapy, are made by patients, although it is true that the psychologist has to ensure that these decisions are not made under the influence of emotional states that prevent being rational, for example, if the partner / person You decide not to continue with the treatment when you have just learned that the result has been negative, you may do so out of frustration at the time, which is not ideal.
It is vitally important that the person / couple does not lose functionality, that is, work must be done so that they continue to do the same or very similar activities being able to enjoy them and not generate an obsession that can even become pathological and damage the partner. It is very common that these processes can harm the dynamics of the couple, that they only talk about this issue, that the irascibility has increased, that they do not want to do other things, that sexual relations revolve around conception, etc. Therefore, with the help of a psychologist, work is done to prevent this from happening or to try to remedy it or alleviate it if it is already happening.
How can psychological therapy help us?
Waiting, together with the feeling of lack of control, is one of the aspects that most disturbs the person. When a child is not arriving, whether or not the couple is in the hands of assisted reproduction, we must assume that we do not have the solution in our hands, that there are many elements that are beyond our control, moreover, as we have commented, in Sometimes we do not even know why it does not arrive, so this feeling creates a lot of insecurity to which is added the anxiety about waiting.
Another aspect that usually generates a lot of pain is when the person / couple discover that they cannot be biological parents and they wanted to be. This obviously leads to suffering, anxiety, and even depression. At this point, therapy should focus on managing pain, expressing feelings, providing tools to channel anger, guilt, sadness, etc., broadening objectives, assessing options … depending on the situation and the person’s demand. / partner and the point where it is.
In short, we have spoken with generalizations of processes that are very personal and different from each other, however, they tend to share that they are experienced as stressful, that they have a lot of emotional charge and that it is very important that a psychologist accompany the couple or the person involved to help you manage everything that is happening, in addition, although social support is very important, the people around us do not usually know how to help us, so at Mariva Psicólogos we recommend, without a doubt, putting yourself in the hands of a psychologist that can help you.