What are the emotions that make us feel worse?
In this article I would like to talk about emotions, and in more detail, about the six emotions that we least like to feel : shame , sadness , fear , anger , jealousy and guilt .
The importance of knowing the emotions one feels
When I am in front of a patient, I try to convey to him the importance of knowing oneself not only through what he thinks, and through how he acts with himself and with others, but also through what he feels. The emotional area is sometimes a neglected area in many self-help books, yet it is essential for changes to occur.
Knowing our emotions means that we know how to detect when we feel them, that we can name them ( “What I feel is sadness” ), that we notice them bodily ( “I feel it in the chest area” ), and that we can regulate how we want them to come out abroad (crying, talking, writing about her …).
The six emotions that make us feel the worst
Almost all patients agree that the emotions they least like to feel are the following :
This emotion is accompanied by an internal self-criticism : “What nonsense I say” , “they are going to think that I am …” , “they are going to laugh at me” … Shame tends to appear in people with greater insecurity, less self-confidence themselves and low self-esteem. It is an emotion that causes a blockage in relationships with others, and therefore, essential to work in therapy.
I recommend this post so that you know the critic in you: “Why do I hate myself? Causes and solutions”
Although you do not like to feel it, sadness may be one of the easiest to detect. It can create doubts as to whether we are feeling it too intensely or not, and it can be believed that one is falling into a depression, when what is happening is that a normal period of it is happening. It is essential to make this distinction between sadness and depression. “I constantly want to cry” , “I don’t feel like doing anything” , “I only see the negative” …
It appears when we know that there may be a real or imagined danger. If it is real, the fear is adaptive, if it is an imaginary danger, that fear can turn into bondage. “And if such a thing happens …” , “And if I don’t get this …” , “What if …” .
To deepen this emotion, you can consult: “What is fear for?”
Of all the emotions that I am going to talk about, this is the one that can produce the most ambivalence, in the sense that there are people who can tolerate anger, what happens is that sometimes they do not handle it in an adaptive way. Either they silence it or it comes out uncontrollably, in the form of anger (shouting, insulting …). Anger is important in order to be able to set limits, to express what I do not agree with or do not like or hurt about the other person, as long as it is respecting the other. “I do not like your behavior this, it makes me angry that you tell me …” .
About anger, I can suggest a couple of articles that can help you manage it:
“How to control anger: 7 practical tips”
“Emotional control techniques: 10 effective strategies”
When they appear they face a third person. That person is considered a rival and if the expression of jealousy is not managed, it can turn into a feeling of wanting to “dominate” or “possess” the other person. It tends to create distance and is destructive in relationships. “He loves him more than me, he pays more attention to him than me …” .
It would be the “Jiminy Cricket” that we all have within us and that appears when we have harmed another person. “It’s your fault”, “you should have done it differently” …
After having gone through all the emotions, what would you say is the emoticon that you least like to feel? , And what do you usually do with it?