A summary of the most common fears, the way in which they limit us, and the way to overcome them.
Fear is the emotion that most paralyzes us and limits our life. Beyond this, other paralyzing and distressing emotions such as insecurity or anxiety states are also forms of fear. What does it lead us to live a life constantly conditioned by our fears?
The impact of fear in our lives
Fears are the most common problems of people who want to experience real and profound changes in their lives, either in relation to their own well-being, personal or partner relationships, social difficulties or even at work or entrepreneurship. It is an elusive emotion, and it is very difficult to detect these fears, understand them, know their meaning (what really scares us) and above all overcome them. But the problem is not fear, but the way you understand and manage your fears.
Fear is a basic emotion and it is natural and necessary to feel it. As a psychological phenomenon, it protects us from many harmful factors. The problem is when we have created, almost always unconsciously, a multitude of fears towards situations that are not really dangerous and condition our lives. Fears of losing, of loneliness, of not feeling capable …
That fear ends up transforming into anger, insecurities, arguments, discouragement, or especially in that paralysis so common when facing problems or going towards what we really want and it makes us happy.
In the last 10 years, accompanying people in their change processes as a psychologist and coach, I have ended up knowing and working with the most common fears. All of them can be summarized in the 7 great fears. Let’s see what they are and how to start to overcome them; And, if you want to take that step, you can register for free in Emotion within empoderamientohumano.com, a first step to begin your process of change to understand and know how to manage your emotions.
- Maybe you’re interested: ” Personal Development: 5 reasons for self-reflection “
The 7 most common fears
These are the 7 most common fears that arise naturally in some moments of life in many people:
1. Fear of not being able to fail and
When it comes to challenges and projects, this fear is often a paralyzing force when it comes to doing what we really want. We live with the idea of our incapacity or the possible consequences, and fear tends to paralyze us to save us those consequences. But the truth is that we are never 100% prepared to face something new, and what we understand as failure is part of that learning.
2. Fear of loneliness
The human being is never alone. We are social beings, and the quality or quantity of our relationships depends on our openness and trust. Paradoxically, the most distrustful is when we are most afraid of loneliness, and that leads us to isolate ourselves or, on the contrary, to try to preserve people (such as our partner) based on our fears and insecurities and through discussions or frequent demands.
3. Fear of death (own or someone else’s)
Death is a natural process that we live with. Our society or way of life often isolates us from this process, which makes us even more scared.
4. Fear of losing control
The control we have over our life is actually very small. We can make decisions, but at the same time we are affected and conditioned by many factors. This lack of confidence in life often makes us want to be in control of the uncontrollable. Not being possible, fear tends to reinforce itself. We want to control our children, our partner, our relationships, our objects and possessions, our status, etc.
5. Fear of loss
Personal or material, it is another form of fear of losing control, but oriented towards what we lose, which implies that we live with the belief that we have something or someone.
6. Fear that everything remains the same
When we don’t like our situation, we are afraid that it will continue like this. This makes fear validate itself with the simple passage of time, and we see everything increasingly black. In turn, this fear has something positive: it helps you to commit to your own personal change.
7. Fear of losing security
We tend to believe that living safely is the key to being happy. However, life is pure insecurity. We do not know what will happen in each moment, and the way in which we face that surprise conditions our life.
The fear of losing security makes us look for it so hard that we always feel dissatisfaction, frustration, anxiety, and therefore even more fear.
Personal development by improving the relationship with one’s own fears
What do these fears lead you to? What are you losing as a result of having them? How would your life be different if you learned to understand and manage them so that they did not condition your life? And above all, how to overcome them?
In reality, fear is necessary and cannot be left behind forever. The key is to have a functional relationship with your fears, in such a way that they warn you about what is really dangerous or not and know how to understand and manage them in a functional way (that is really useful and leads you towards well-being and improvement of your relationships or professional life).
This is not something that is achieved simply by informing us about the objective risks (estimated according to the probability) of what we fear happening. The fact of having data does not have to translate into a change in the way we relate to our emotions.
This is what you get if you go through a process of change, in the course of which that personal transformation stays with you forever, since you have learned mainly about yourself. This form of learning has a theoretical part, but above all a practical part based on new experiences. Without these, personal development is meaningless; And that is exactly what the “training” sessions with which we psychology professionals work.