Do you feel vulnerable when other people judge you? Learn to relativize it.
We all like to be liked and accepted by others, but many spend too much time and energy trying to be liked by others.
The psychological wear and tear of thinking about pleasing everyone is unhealthy and produces unnecessary stress. In fact, it is a very common way to stop living in the present moment and does not benefit a person’s well-being. In addition, there is nothing more seductive than a person who is totally in tune with himself, and who lives life as he would like to live it.
Think of yourself before thinking of what others think of you
It is inevitable not to think from time to time about the image that we show towards the outside, since we are social beings. Although it is not a question of isolating yourself from the world and living in a lost town, one cannot be 24 hours a day wanting to be what others want him to be.
Happiness is achieved by knowing yourself and fighting for what you like. If you are one of those who spends a lot of time thinking about giving an image to be accepted by others, surely you show yourself like this:
- You stop being yourself and you are what others want you to be.
- You stay away from others so they don’t judge you
- You are constantly aware of whether your actions will be accepted or not, and you maintain a constant state of alert that is exhausting.
- If something doesn’t go as planned, you feel really bad.
- You forget about yourself to think of others.
- You keep your emotions to yourself by thinking about whether or not they will be accepted by others.
- You don’t show yourself how you are, but how they want you to be
- You have a shell since it prevents your relationships from being authentic and that wears you down
Tips to stop thinking about what others think of you
As we have mentioned, trying to please everyone all the time is exhausting. If you spend a lot of time fearing the opinion of others to the point that you run out of time for yourself, follow the tips below.
Understand the reasons for your concern
Understanding that culture and socialization are important to our social belonging is the first step to stop thinking this way. From a young age they teach us to act in a certain way, to dress in a specific way, to accept certain ideologies, to buy fashion products, and so on. In addition, the emergence of social networks favors that we are constantly exposed to a showcase of social comparison.
Reflecting on what is happening around us is important in order to recover our identity as subjects and not as objects. It is exhausting to always be aware of controlling that image that we give to the outside, and more when we have to be aware of what we publish on our Facebook, Instagram, etc. profiles .
To get out of this vicious circle as soon as possible and invest the time in loving ourselves is to take a step forward and regain our authentic “self”.
You cannot control what others think of you
Each person is a world, with their experiences, their thoughts, their tastes, and so on. It is impossible to please everyone because you cannot fit within everyone’s parameters. Focusing on others instead of yourself is a mistake, since you have no control over what they think or say about you. What you can control is the path you want to follow and what you are going to take with you.
Don’t waste your energy on what they think of you
As we’ve already said, thinking about what others think of you is exhausting. It’s exhausting because you waste your energy on something you don’t control. Invest that time thinking about yourself and you will surely get better results. Know yourself, fight for what you want in life and grow as a person. When you are in tune with yourself, you enter a State of Flow and everything costs less.
The Mindfulness philosophy refers to living the present in its entirety, and proposes that on this path we are progressively capable of finding the essence of who we are. With Mindfulness we become aware of the reality that surrounds us and we can live from freedom, self-knowledge and acceptance.
Treating oneself is based on compassion and “not judging ourselves.” Therefore, from the Mindfulness mentality, it does not make much sense what others think of ourselves, because we respect ourselves as we are.