Parents who educate their children by breaking the laws of logic. Here are 15 examples.
The vast majority of parents genuinely try to give their all for their children and do everything in their power to meet their needs, but even the best-intentioned parents make mistakes and engage in behaviors that are not beneficial to development and well-being. of their descendants.
Toxic behaviors of parents
Unfortunately, some parents go beyond simple mistakes and perform toxic behaviors that seriously harm their child’s growth and emotional health, because the figure of a father can mark the future of their child and is, together with the mother, the most important educational agent for him. Are there toxic parents? And, more importantly: what effects can their behaviors and bad educational styles have on the fragile psyches of their children?
But also: what are the harmful behaviors of parents towards their children? What are the toxic behaviors of parents? Below you can find the 15 most common characteristics of toxic parents.
1. Too demanding
There are some parents who are too demanding of their own children and who do not tolerate their failures. These critical parents are too perfectionists and expect their children to do everything right, and they think the way to do this is by reminding them of their mistakes over and over again.
This type of behavior can cause serious problems for their descendants in the future and, sometimes, psychological and emotional damage that can accompany them for the rest of their lives. One of the causes of this behavior can be the father’s low self-esteem, a tremendous feeling of inferiority and even a perfectionist personality.
Despite the fact that many parents have an exemplary behavior with their children, there are others who, consciously or unconsciously, have a manipulative attitude and who deeply damage their children, because, sometimes, they cannot escape from them. They are parents who, in addition, tend to have this type of behavior with other individuals and, therefore, their own children suffer their toxic behaviors as well.
Manipulative people are experts at detecting the weaknesses of others to stealthily bring them to their own ground. In addition, they often do not stop until they achieve their goal, they are insatiable and they often have a great need for control.
Do you want to delve into this topic? You can read our article: ” Manipulative people have these 5 traits in common “
3. Authoritarian, not very tolerant and intransigent
Authoritarian parents are those who force their children to behave in a certain way without taking their needs and emotions into account. They are intolerant and inflexible and make them feel bad, even being aggressive when their children do not act as they wish. This includes taking things out of context and acting out of proportion on many occasions.
They are parents who show poor communication with their children and try to raise obedient children, but also very dependent. Being little affectionate, their children tend to end up being little cheerful or spontaneous.
Recommended article: “The 12 types of authority (in the family and in society)”
4. Physical and verbal abusers
As much as some of us find it hard to believe that there are parents who abuse their children, they do exist. Some of these use physical violence at specific times and others more often. Some of them use verbal violence: speaking in bad manners and giving insults. Abusive parents create serious problems in their children’s self-esteem and cause damage that can be difficult to erase from memory.
5. Too critical
There are demanding parents as we have said, but, in addition, it is also possible to find overly critical parents. They are parents who rarely praise their children and are not usually aware that they do not know that with their continuous reproaches they end up reinforcing the bad behavior they intend to correct. Criticizing brings judgment, censure, and condemnation, and this makes children defensive and respond with hostility and mistrust.
6. Little affectionate
Children need to be cared for by their parents, especially when they are lonely. The affection of the home can help pass the bad times and creates affective bonds that the child later learns. Family models that are not based on affection and trust can cause problems in children’s interpersonal relationships in the future.
Communication is basic in interpersonal relationships, because it can avoid many conflicts. But in the case of the parent-child relationship it is especially necessary because it can help the child to feel loved and it is necessary for their proper education. Uncommunicative parents avoid having conversations with their children and do not take their needs into account. In fact, parents should consider not only what they say, when they say it, and how they say it, but they should be adept at actively listening to their children.
To learn more about active listening, click here.
8. Blames their children for their own failures or frustrations
Some parents are not comfortable with their own lives, for example, feeling like a failure at their job. As a consequence, their self-esteem may be low and they can be quite irritable and unpatient. These parents, moreover, can make the mistake of projecting their failures onto the people around them, especially those close to them, such as their own children.
9. Projects your fantasies or dreams onto your children
While some may blame their children for their failures, others may project their failed dreams or unfulfilled expectations on the little ones. In other words, they want their children to live the life that they have not been able to live. For example, forcing them to dance when children do not enjoy this practice.
10. Overly protective
The vast majority of parents want their children to be well and care about them. But some parents turn this behavior into totally toxic behavior. For example, not letting them go out with their friends for a bike ride for fear of having an accident. This causes their children to become insecure and not develop their own autonomy, and, in addition, they do not let them enjoy their life.
11. They do not accept their friends
Toxic parents do not accept their children’s friendships because they have expectations of who should or should not mix. Either because they have no career, because they have tattoos or because they are not what they want them to be. Parents have to let their children live their life.
12. They plan their professional career
Parents’ concern that their children have the life they want can make their children end up choosing their professional career based on the tastes of their parents. For example, some children may excel as artists and may be happy developing their passion, but instead end up studying medicine and dedicating themselves to something that does not make them fully happy. Each one must live life according to their own dreams and expectations, not reproduce that of their parents.
13. They are selfish
We have all met very selfish people during our lives, but the situation is more complicated when these kinds of self-centered habits and attitudes are manifested in parents. Selfish parents only think of themselves and cause a lot of suffering in children who may not feel loved.
Selfish people, like egocentric parents, share some characteristics You can meet them in this article: ” Selfish people share these 6 traits “
14. They are a bad model
Parents are examples for their children and are the most important role models for their lives, because they are reflected in them and they tend to inherit certain habits, customs and even behaviors. When parents do not set an example and are a bad role model, children run the risk of learning harmful behaviors. This without taking into account the emotional damage they can do to them, for example, if they are alcoholics.
15. They don’t teach them healthy habits
Children are reflected in their parents, but it is especially important to know that parents educate their children to adopt healthy habits. Parents who do not have a healthy lifestyle send the wrong message to their children, and that can have an effect on their future health.
Not only that, but also, when children are very young they are beings that are at the mercy of their parents. If they feed them poorly, the children can suffer the negative consequences of this behavior. For example, being overweight due to poor family eating habits and a sedentary lifestyle.
How to avoid a parenting style harmful to children?
There is still no definitive parental guide, since each family has its own circumstances, limitations and ways of acting. What should be taken into account is what educational style we want to promote, and have a certain consistency when transmitting one parenting style or another.
If the parents agree on most of the limits and attitudes that they should promote towards their children, and they accompany the minor in an affectionate and close way, it is much more likely that conflicts take time to appear, and that when they do they will be of less intensity.